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Victims of Self-Mutilation

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Re-vamping, of sorts. [08 Jan 2007|08:22pm]

After my LJ hiatus, I have re-vamped the info page of the community.

Please do not hesitate to get this community going again!
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[26 Feb 2006|12:58am]

k, me and 4 other people in my English class (linked to Intro Soc) are all doing papers on inequality of religion (our research question is about religious profiling/stereotyping)...PLEASE fill out this survey and send it back to me in a comment! What you can type in, please do...for the rest of it (where it says "circle one"), either bold it (the tags for that are < b > without the spaces at the beginning of the word(s) and then < / b > at the end of the word(s)) or put stars around the word(s) or delete all but the choice you picked.

Religion Survey

*The survey and results will be anonymous*
What religion if any, are you a part of?

In terms of attending religious meetings, practicing religious rituals, and participating in your religion at times other than special occasions, how active are you in your religion?
(circle one)

Not religious Not Very Active Somewhat active Active Very Active

What class structure do you identify yourself as a part of? (circle one)

Lower class Middle class Upper-Middle Class Upper class

How many friends do you have of different religions from your own?

1-3 3-5 5-7 7-9 10 or more

What do you think of cross-religious marriages?

Bad idea Very Difficult Do-able with Effort No problem Good idea

Do you think of people who practice… (circle one or leave blank if you've never heard of it)
Islam as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Christianity as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Catholicism as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Mormonism as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Jehovah’s Witnesses as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Judaism as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Buddhism as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Wicca as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous

Cults as:
Bizarre/Strange Strict Ordinary/Normal Faithful Generous
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Arg [13 Nov 2005|11:16am]

I premeditated a session (what I used to call them) of cutting last night. I was driving home from work, and my boyfriend keep telling me about how great his sponsor is and how he loves being a sponsor, and I can't find one of my own....I feel like I can't do any of my steps without one...ugh!

Anyway. I was driving home, listening to a mix CD and thinking about how I would go about it. I decided that I would cut the backs of my legs, because less people would be likely to find them, and that I would use a needle, so I would bleed everywhere.

When I got home, though, I started thinking about movies and food and decided to eat a lot instead. Not that becoming some dependent on food is much better, I was litterally one floor away from my needles before going to borrow a DVD player.

I'm fairly proud of myself. The only problem is that I made my decision based on my loved ones. I didn't decide not to cut because -I- don't need to, or for -my- health and happiness....which means I still have a lot of work to do.
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I suck at introductions... [01 Nov 2005|11:48am]

My name is Heather. I cut. I've not cut in a few weeks. I'm getting better. I'm also an alcoholic. Just got out of Rehab. Am looking for new friends who will know what I'm battling. Feel free to friend me. Thank you.
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[05 Oct 2005|07:24pm]

They did a segment on self injury on The Today Show this morning. You can find an article about it on their site, as well as a link to the video (it's about 7 minutes long). The picture to the link does show scars, and the video shows scars as well as tools. So be careful if you choose to watch this. I thought it was a pretty decent segment. They even mentioned that adults did this as well and they had an adult appear in the segment. A part I really liked was when the person said that you cannot just take away self injury (the coping mechanism) without looking at the deeper issues. Find the article and link to the video

(x-posted to a couple of places dealing with SI)
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[30 Aug 2005|09:43pm]
[ mood | disturbed and angry ]

i was flicking through some magazines today, and there were a few articles on sienna miller.
and the new cuts/scratch marks she has on her arm.
her publicist is saying she got them by being thrown up against a rock.
i choose to believe ohterwise.
for arguements sake, lets say its self inflicted.
why in the hell does she need to hide behind some lie?
i know its a social stigma, but youre doing no one any good by lying about it.
i mean, im not ashamed of the fact that i s.i.
i dont think anyone should be.
its not like we do it for fun.

i just wish she - and others - would own up to it.
because denial and lies arent going to help you get better.

6 comments|post comment

Newbie [02 Sep 2005|11:40am]

Greetings everyone!

I dealt with self-mutilation on and off throughout my highschool years. Now I'm 18, and I manage to get through the days without much fuss it seems. I was in therapy for two years, and I still maintain a healthy relationship with my therapist. For the most part I've learned how to cope with my issues, but there are days when I find myself scratching my arms with my nails...I don't even realize I'm doing it until I look down. There are days I want to hurt, and make everyone else around me hurt, but I have found that those days have been lessened since I've been in therapy. It feels good to know that there is some sort of light in this tunnel, even if it's just a landmark for now. Anyway....hi, everyone!

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[28 Aug 2005|08:33pm]
[ mood | fucking furious ]

i am really fighting the urge not to hurt myself right now.
if i wasnt living with my olds, i wouldnt bother fighting it. i would have followed through a long time ago.
and sometimes it seems like that would be the easier and more desirable option.
having the freedom to s.i. whenever you want shouldnt be a reason in looking forward to moving out.
but for me, it is.
because i feel like im going crazy.

EDIT : im pleased to announce that i did not succumb to the urges.
still at 2 and a half weeks.
going on 3.

2 comments|post comment

new - how original [27 Aug 2005|12:25pm]
[ mood | bloated ]

Are you over the age of 18? im 19. 20 in a few months.

Have you ever self-mutilated? i cut myself a few times when i was 12, but it didnt become a coping mechanism until i was about....14/15 or so. needless to say, ive been cutting ever since. ive had periods where i have managed to stop. at this time, i havent cut for about....2 - 2 and a half weeks.

Seen a therapist? ive been seeing therapists for as long as i can remember. when i was young - as in 5 years old - i was sent to a few therapists for behavioural problems. basically acting up and being a little snot. then i was sent to a therapist for self esteem issues. my therapist after that helped a bit, but she was too close to the family to do any real good, imo. the therapist im seeing now is absolutely brilliant.

Been hospitalized? no.

Did your doctor ever say that SI goes away after your teenage years are over? no. no doctor has ever told me that it will just go away. more often than not, theyve ignored the whole thing, and pretended my scars dont exist.

Are you still trying to find peace? yeah. while i dont cut over every little thing now, its still hard to restrain myself when im feeling extremely angry or depressed.

my name is katt, and i live in new zealand.

5 comments|post comment

[04 Aug 2005|09:22pm]

i was really into SI when I was a teen, i've had relapses earlier in the year, but my other addictions kind of took over, but i've been thinking it's really something i don't want to forget about, because there is such little help out there for us, and so many of us are overlooked and not helped, im also recovering from my borderline personality, it's something that has been hard to deal with because it has such a stigma to it, and it's a very lonely illness, and movies kind of shed an evil light on it, but i'm trying to surround myself with people who are in recovery and willing and open minded to getting better, i started to si when i was 10, than by 12 i was doing heroin, than methadone which im so greatful to be off of today, but when it all comes down to it it's all a drug, it all causes the same effect, it all detaches ourselvs, from ourselvs, because we either hate ourselvs, or hate things people have done to me, i use to cut when i would get angry, or felt rejected ill save all the horror stories though, im really trying to get it this time around but im taking it a day, er maybe second at a time, i like to really talk to people and help others, and learn from others, so hit me up on aim if anyone ever needs to talk, and add me if youd like.
my is is - sick secrets
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by means of an introduction... [18 Jul 2005|10:08pm]

Are you over the age of 18? yes, I'm 18 (and a half, I might add)
Have you ever self-mutilated? yeah... I'd like to say I used to, but the last time was within the last two weeks. before that, it was... a few months, I guess. I started cutting in seventh grade (I just graduated from hs) and did it almost daily until halfway through eighth grade. I tried to kill myself, was hospitalized, my other little habit was discovered, and I saw a terrible therapist for about a year. I didn't cut for about three months and then I started again because I didn't know what to do. it continued, on-and-off, until now, I guess. I've also burned myself from time to time.
Seen a therapist? after the terrible therapist, I saw another not-so-good one for about three months and then started seeing my "current" one, who is awesome and I love her. (that's definitely not what I would have said a year ago.) we actually just (about a month ago) "terminated," but I think I'll still see her from time to time when I feel like I need it.
Been hospitalized? not specifically for cutting, but once for overdosing and another time for planning to and my friend called the cops
Did your doctor ever say that SI goes away after your teenage years are over? no
Are you still trying to find peace? yeah, I guess you could say so. I would say I'm generally a lot more stable than I was a year ago or anytime before that. but I still have my bad days...

anyway, other than that, my name is Hannah and I play the cello. I'm going to music school in Ohio next year. that's pretty much all there is to know about me.
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The owner advertising some of my other communities... [17 Jul 2005|08:39pm]

If you're Christian living in/near Seattle, then join: godblessseattle If you're a glbtq female in/near Seattle, then join: gaygirlseattle If you're Christian and have ever been on a mission/ministry trip, then join: missionjesus
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[18 Jun 2005|06:50pm]

[ mood | blah ]

i dont know what it is. i was hyper and than BAM i just got all...blah. i feel antisocial, fat, gross, disgusted, and all together sad. how did i go from being one thing to another?

i left early bc i just wanted to come home and well...sleep but now that im home i see my arms and i want to cut again. ugh. why is this happening to me? why do i feel this way?

i feel absolutely hopeless. i dont want to give up on myself but the more days i have like this the harder it is for me to believe that im going to get better. i mean ive done counseling and i dont think its working. ive been honest and open and ive gotten nowhere. ok well im not suicidal anymore, but im starting to feel that really blah feeling that you cant describe all over again. i feel like such a disappointment.

what do i do? how do i make it stop?

1 comment|post comment

[14 Jun 2005|09:33pm]

[ mood | uncomfortable ]

soo...i didnt know where else to say this bc the one person i do go to is all stressed out and upset and i dont want to botehr her with whats troubling my mind.

i went to counseling today. last week she finally asked me if i was cutting and for once i admitted to it. i told her i didnt want to talk about it though. today, she asked me again. this time she asked where. i have never felt so uncomfortable in my whole entire life. i was having such a good day and no, i hadnt forgotten that i had, but it was just a place i didnt want to be back in. aagin, i told her i didnt want to talk about it. i was scared. not by her reaction, but by my reaction. to actually let myself think about cutting. which is why im here writing. im sitting thinking about it and i know its a problem. i dont mind talking about it, but her asking where just made me want to run to a corner and never come out. sometimes i cut on my arms, most of the time i cant bc people look and ask. i say the cats did it. last year i cut my thighs and i have scars to prove it. this year i cut in places where no one would ever look. i cut in such a way where it looks like i couldve done it doing the clumsy things i do. i hate that i have to resort to it though.

she still tells me its normal to feel the way i feel. up and down with my emotions. i dont feel normal going through them. i want them to stop. one extreme to another...its exhasuting.

alright. im done with my rambeling. i just needed to get this out to someone.

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[30 May 2005|06:57pm]

[ mood | blank ]

i cut bc everything around me just hurts. i get frustrated and overwhelmed and i dont have a clue what to do with myself. i stopped for almost 6 months and than...things took a turn for the worse and i started up again. i hate that i do it bc it only makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. i hate that feeling...the out of control feeling. ive been trying to tell my counselor, but the words never come out. it doesnt help that she told me how much ive gorwn and how much stronger i am now. she was saying how proud she was bc i wasnt suicidal and wasnt cutting...ya...im not suicidal but i do still cut. some days are worse than others. this weekend was hard. its been a long time since ive cut more than one day at a time...i running out places to cut too. its summer and im in a bathing suit and i already have scars from last year on my thighs...im just running out of options i guess.

ok pointless update...sorry.

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[29 May 2005|10:52pm]

Are you Christian and living in the Seattle area? Join:

Are you Christian and livin' anywhere? Join:
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[23 May 2005|01:39am]


for anyone who wants to use it♥
stay strong.
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[10 May 2005|07:33pm]

Good books to read...

Wild At Heart
The Ragamuffin Gospel
Bad Girls of the Bible
Blue Like Jazz
Inside of Me
Sins of a Father
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Re: How's it going. [09 May 2005|03:48pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

I just recently hit over a year SI free, and the last week or two has been pretty clear of the desire to reinstate that particular coping mechanism. I'm coming more into my own, discovering who I am and who I want to be, and it's helped me feel more secure and happy.

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[09 May 2005|12:23am]

How is everyone doing with SI?

*repost in your own entry*
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